I love spin class. Well, not just any spin class. The spin class with the leaderboard.
That torturous screen right within view for 45 whole minutes, pitting your pedal strokes and power against every biker in class.
I’m competitive. I want to be in the top 5 on the leaderboard. And I push it.
I push it to get there, even when my body longs for more of a Sunday afternoon bike ride than the final leg of the Tour de France.
I’ve always held the belief that harder, better, faster would get me closer to the goal, the body, the career. And how would I know if I am succeeding other than evaluating myself, my path, my whatever against my peers, real or imaginary? Just like I do, a la the spinning leaderboard.
Healthy competition, as they say.
But this belief ended up leading me to an unfulfilling marriage, a career that, while fun, didn’t serve my larger purpose, and a life that wasn’t as luscious as it could be.
There came a point when I tuned out the competition and turned inward, to hear what my authentic self truly wanted and longed for. That’s when I realized I was competing on a leaderboard for a life different from the one I wanted to be living.
So I climbed off the bike to be here, sharing my musings with you. To help my coaching clients discover the lives they, not society or anyone else, want to lead.
I still go to spin twice a week.
The leaderboard’s still there.
I usually can’t help but glance up at it a few times during class. But lately, I've become more comfortable and happy having my own ride. The one that is just what I want and need in that moment.
Spinning’s never been more fun.